A Short Repaste

Musing

I struggle with long sentences.  Speaking them, writing them, thinking them.  Trying to limit my verbosity ends poorly.  So here is my nth attempt to do so.  Each sentence here will be chopped in half.  I warn you now, this will not be enjoyable.  I will struggle through it.  I will gnash my teeth all the while.  But maybe at the end, I will learn something.

Which is worse: ignorance of one’s flaws, or knowledge with a failure to act upon them?  We can all place that one acquaintance ignorant of their intolerable behaviors.  Likewise, we can all identify a struggle all our own.  Severity has an impact.  So does circumstance.  My longwindedness is less problematic on a non-existent readership than it is in person.  Where to draw the line? 

I can make a case for both.  Let’s start with ignorance.  It can break down in two ways.  First, that born of pride.  Second, that born of laziness.  Pride prevents us from accepting what introspection reveals.  Laziness prevents us from introspection at all.  Of the two, pride is the greater sin.  It willfully subsumes personal growth on pride’s altar.  Often that comes at the expense of others around us.  Always it comes at the expense of our own wellbeing.  Laziness shows we do not care.  Apathy is ugly.  It worms its way inside and festers.  It crumbles dreams and poisons relationships.  Ignorance from pride or laziness is intolerable.

Now for failing to act on one’s known flaws.  This breaks down in three ways.  First, again, is pride.  Second, again, is laziness.  Third, though… third is fear.  Fear is often at the root of laziness in this case, just as pride is at its root.  We fear change.  We fear the effort we know it takes to grow.  We fear losing time to a pursuit with uncertain outcomes.  All these fears coalesce into stagnation.  A comfort zone is comfortable because one need not move.  There is no fear there, because there is no growth.  And because there is no growth, there remain flaws. 

Which is worse: ignorance or willful negligence?  The latter, for that we have greater control over.  There are always blind spots to feed ignorance.  We can work on these, but never fully resolve them.  We can always fight our fear.  We can learn to embrace it, let it pass through us.  Only then can we make progress.  One word at a time.