Updated on April 27, 2026
Dickey’s BBQ and the Standard That Wasn’t Met

I have lived in seven places and traveled to dozens more. Each has its own unique take on food—Italian balsamic vinegar so thick it oozed, Korean fried chicken that leaves its American progenitor in the dust, whatever that meat on a stick was from a Thai food cart. I’ve been blessed to try some amazing food in interesting places, and finding the intersection of the two is the best part of going somewhere new.
Colorado Springs, however, is a disappointment. My wife and I have entered many a restaurant with high hopes, only to have them dashed on the flavorless rocks. Nowhere is the more prevalent than with the local BBQ scene.
Updated on April 27, 2026
Wonder Is the One Frequency That Requires No Translation

My car sped down the hill, my eyes darting from the speedometer to the road as I debated how much I could get away with. Over the car speakers, NASA flight control officers worked their way through the launch sequence. Artemis II was minutes away from making history, and I was running behind.
Updated on April 27, 2026
Stoicism Has Borders

I am the rock upon which my household sits. While I don’t usually boast in these pages, it’s important I make an exception today. Last time I was sick, I was not nearly as pathetic as I usually am. The Man Flu is real, and when it comes for me, my body shuts down in protest. With two kids and a host of uncovered outlets in the house, however, I don’t have the luxury of tapping out for the day anymore.
Updated on April 27, 2026
Why I Asked AI Instead of My Dad

My wife looked at me and uttered the words I most dread in our relationship: “When are you going to hang those frames?”
Pinned like the frantic rat I was, I looked for a limb to gnaw off to escape the trap. Manage the children? No, they were already in bed. Pay the bills? No, she knows that’s all automatic now. Yelling “look over there!” and sprinting in the opposite direction? No, I’d already used that to get out of folding laundry.
I accepted my fate and trudged into the hallway for my ritual humiliation. I laid out the frames, my tools, and my dignity, then started measuring.
Updated on April 27, 2026
Not Broken Enough to Fix: My First Real Lesson in Accepting Limitations

I slid inside the off-white cylinder of the MRI machine, feeling an odd kinship with my infant daughter’s diaper cream. The anticipated claustrophobia never materialized, but the technician forcibly reminded me of our age gap when the classic rock I requested came on as music from the early 2000s.
Updated on April 27, 2026
Small Tests, Big Rot

I stared at the slow cooker, vexed. The mishmash of seasonings, broth, and chicken bubbled away, ignorant of the tragedy it unwittingly participated in. I looked at the clock and frowned, hoping daylight savings had struck early this year. No matter how I tried to rationalize the situation, the facts remained—I had left the chicken in its cauldron several hours longer than anticipated.
Updated on April 27, 2026
After Action Report: The Long Night

The first rumble comes at midnight, that witching hour when nothing good ever happens. My stomach clenches like a fist, and I know what’s coming.
Updated on April 27, 2026
Llamageddon: Why Toddler Bonding Trips Always Go Wrong

My son and I whipped down the Utah freeway at exactly five over the limit, and I knew that I was about to take the crown as the favorite parent. Since birth, he has made it clear he prefers his mom—first through crying, later through actual words.
He wails and gnashes his teeth like a professional mourner every time I put him down for bed. Anytime I ask if he wants to play outside, he immediately looks for his mom to take him. Today, after I told him I loved him, he replied that he loved the crackers on the counter next to me. That one doesn’t specifically relate to his mother, but it hurt all the same.
But here—now—was my moment to become the favorite. I had strategically left his mom with her mom for some much-needed girl time, and my ace in the hole waited a few miles up the road: a llama farm.
Updated on September 12, 2025
Introducing “Interim Management”
Hello! I’m back from an extended hiatus with something new–the first chapter to my current work-in-progress. This is a draft chapter from my novel Interim Management, a mash-up of Weekend at Bernie’s, Office Space, and good old fashioned dark lord fantasy. I’ll periodically post bits of this as I go, so let me know what you think. Without further ado, please enjoy this snippet from Interim Management!

Chapter 1
Meridian Ledgerborn hurried back into his office, arms full of scrolls. He stumbled at the last stretch and the scrolls flew everywhere as the sharp edge of his desk caught him in the stomach. The ochre elf curled over himself, trying to catch his breath.
“He expected you five minutes ago,” a voice hissed from the upper corner of the room.
Meridian scowled up at the speaker. “I am well aware, Cordelia,” he huffed. “Perhaps you could make yourself useful as my assistant and assist in picking up these scrolls?”
Cordelia shrugged and lowered her hulking form down from the ceiling with six of her eight legs. Her talons clicked in a discomforting way as they found small crevices to latch onto, and the host of eyes on her massive head spasmed in every direction at once, save for the largest in the middle that fixed on Meridian even as the arachnoid’s body rotated completely around.
Most sentient races ran in terror when an arachnoid approached, but Meridian had more experience with them than most. Plus, good work was hard to come by in the Midnight Tower, and Cordelia’s filing skills would impress even a High Elf magistrate.
“Careful with that!” he said, jerking a scroll away from a trail of amber liquid dripping from one of the arachnoid’s fangs. He knocked over a plate of scones as he did—Bertram must have dropped by earlier.
“My apologies,” Cordelia said in the hissing tone of her people. She dropped her crochet supplies into a tray tied to her thorax and used her forelegs to adjust the acid cups hanging under her fangs.
“The last thing I need right now is a massive hole in the middle of my presentation,” Meridian said. “Grab that one over there, next to the goblin work order bin.”
One of Cordelia’s legs hooked out and snagged the scroll, bringing it over to the growing pile on Meridian’s desk. “You do know that bad news rarely improves with time,” she said.
“There is no such thing as bad news,” Meridian said, putting the scrolls back in proper order. “Just poorly explained opportunities.”
“Your previous four predecessors died thinking similar things,” Cordelia noted. She cracked open a scroll and scanned it with a jittering eye. “Well, three of them. The other tried to flee rather than deliver bad news. I don’t think he thought much of anything after what the Dark Lord did to him.”
Meridian’s hands started to shake, jostling the precarious scroll pile. He glared at the arachnoid. “Unlike those charlatans, I am a trained elven administrator with the finest certifications offered by the Conclave of Oversight. There is no bureaucratic impediment I cannot overcome.”
Several of Cordelia’s eyes rotated to stare at Meridian. “I don’t think he’ll use bureaucracy to kill you.”
Meridian let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine, what would you recommend then?”
“Bribery.” Cordelia gestured to a box to the side of Meridian’s desk overflowing with gold, weapons, and enchanted trinkets. “Take something from the tribute pile and hope it distracts him enough from what you have to tell him that you make it out in one piece.”
Meridian scoffed. “As if I need tricks like that. You have so little faith in me.”
“I have plenty of faith in you,” she said. “I just have more in the Dark Lord’s aim.”
Meridian made shooing motions with his hands. “Your input is noted. Go work on the latest requisition forms from Warchief Deathmaul for her battle preparations. I’ll want to verify them after I’ve met with the Dark Lord.”
Cordelia’s sighed, a sound most found similar to that of a soul getting ripped from a body by a feral banshee. “As you wish,” she said, her tone making it clear she had no expectation of any verification from Meridian.
The elf closed his eyes, assumed a power stance, and recited his mantra to himself. I am prepared, he thought. I am precise. I know the protocols. He opened his eyes and gathered his scrolls, then paused. He glanced over at the tribute pile, then down at the pile of scrolls in his arms.
“Voided contract,” he swore under his breath, dropping the scrolls. Meridian walked over to the pile of treasure and rummaged through the bin. His eyes caught on an iridescent amulet, and he tossed it into a robe pocket not filled with spare quill tips.
Meridian collected his scrolls, arched back his shoulders, and took a deep breath. Then he walked past the braziers of demonsoul fire into the Dark Lord’s throne room.
The Dark Lord Maleficus, Dreadlord of the Wastes, Slayer of Hope, and Shepherd of the End Times slouched in his throne at the far end of the massive room. Trophies from his conquest littered the space around him, and a haphazard pile of skulls still sat off to one side where an orc work party had left them after the Dark Lord had killed them for a lack of progress on their sculptures.
The elf cleared his throat and announced himself. “Great One, may I approach?”
The man had on his draconic armor without the helmet, letting his burning eyes bore into Meridian. Clawed gauntlets gauged grooves in the onyx throne, the sound making the elf fight not to wince.
“Come,” the Dark Lord said after an interminable wait.
Meridian tried to maintain a stately pace, but he quickened his step after the first twenty strides. Silence poured in from every direction, and shadows crawled from around pillars to reach for him. He had to swat one away that got too close with a scroll, nearly upsetting the entire pile again.
Meridian came to a halt at the customary distance from the throne after the long walk, heart pounding. Up close, the Dark Lord radiated menace. This man had ruled a moderate sized corner of Valdris up until a few years prior when he launched the Consolidation Wars, a ruthless struggle to bring any race and power not aligned to the Light under his rule. He forged the orcs, goblins, humans, and ochre elves under him into a sword, one aimed squarely at the Light’s High Council in Auralis—just as the Sundering Prophecy foretold.
“Great One,” Merdian started, but his voice broke on the second word. He coughed again to try and clear his throat, but his dry mouth fought against him. He hadn’t been this nervous since his disastrous presentation to the Conclave of Oversight. “I come with news and an opportunity.”
The Dark Lord stared at Meridian as he continued to gauge a series of lines in his throne’s armrest, a flare of crimson in his eyes the only indication he had heard.
Meridian plunged forward. “We’ve had a report from the treasury. It appears that our previous estimates of liquid funds erred on the higher side.” With a practiced flick of his wrist, Meridian opened a scroll with a series of lines on it labeled in his neat script. “While at first glance current projections paint a somewhat dim picture, I am confident that my rectification plan will set things aright with minimal loss of productivity.”
The Dark Lord’s fingers went still. Meri fought not to choke on his own saliva as it suddenly poured into his dry mouth.
“Where,” the Dark Lord said, his voice like steel drawn from a sheath, “is my gold?”
Meridian let the first scroll drop and unrolled a second one. “The more important question is how much more gold will you have after we implement some of my recommended changes. I think you’ll be quite pleased with the answer.”
A crack echoed through the throne room as the Dark Lord’s gauntlet crushed the onyx arm rest into powdered gravel. “Where,” he repeated, “is my gold?”
“Ah,” Meridian said, rifling through his scrolls to find one he had hoped not to use. “Are you familiar with the term ‘embezzlement,’ Great One?”
The Dark Lord shot to his feet, his hulking form pushing the solid stone throne off its dais to crash against the floor behind. “Someone dares steal from me?” he roared, magic giving his voice a painful resonance. Flames arched from his eyes and the shadows along the edge of the throne room whipped into a frenzy.
Meridian took a step backward, eyes wide as he scrambled to find a scroll to fix the situation. He mentally shot through his list of options he had made prior to entering the throne room, only to realize he hadn’t considered vengeful demigod as one of the potential outcomes.
“I will flay their skin from their bones!” the Dark Lord screamed. His body levitated from the ground, a maelstrom of darkness swirling around his armor. “I will rend their flesh! They will know endless agony on my racks of eternal torment!”
Meridian had dropped his scrolls and frantically searched through them on the ground as the smell of sulfur assaulted his nostrils. With a gasp of relief, he picked up the one he knew would get his presentation back on track. “Great One,” he said, coming to his feet and proudly displaying the chart he had painstakingly drawn over four hours the previous night. “Have you heard of the magic of compound interest?”
The Dark Lord let out a wordless shout of rage, and darkness exploded from him in a shrieking wave. The force of it blew Meridian off his feet, but tendrils of shadows caught him and jerked him back toward the Dark Lord before he hit the ground. They slithered around his body, whispering madness in his ears as he floated closer to his now incandescent boss.
“Your head will be the first to adorn my walls on my pursuit of vengeance,” the Dark Lord intoned, pointing a clawed finger at Meridian. Sickly green energy glowed around the gauntlet, dark magical essence dripping from the draconic steel.
Execution method 3C, Meridian couldn’t help but think as he saw it. Bone magic, poisoning. He could at least be grateful it wasn’t a Category 4 spell.
“Die!” the Dark Lord howled, and a lance of dark magic shot toward Meridian.
A moment before it struck, Meridian felt a burning warmth from one of his pockets. Rippling light sprung forth around him, coalescing in front of Meridian’s chest. The dark magic hit the radiant light, then rebounded right back at the Dark Lord.
Meridian had an excellent view of the surprise on the Dark Lord’s face as his own spell hit the man between his eyebrows, launching him backwards off his throne pedestal. The shadows holding Meridian dissipated, dumping him on his back and knocking the wind out of him. He curled up into a ball and fought to breathe, waiting for the final blow to strike. Certainly category 4 this time, he thought between gasps.
After ten seconds of cowering, Meridian felt a growing terror. The delay could only mean the Dark Lord had something truly horrific in mind that needed time to cast. After a minute, he let out a quiet sob. Even his predecessor who tried to run only got fifty seconds of silent dread before the Dark Lord started siphoning off his soul.
Five minutes later, Meridian found himself growing indignant. There were fear tactics, then there was being rude. Time was not so much a luxury to be squandered in such a way. Meridian was prepared to die, but wasting his time? That was offensive.
He risked a quick look around, and his indignation shifted to confusion. It took him a moment to understand why—the shadows had vanished.
Meridian lifted his head higher and scanned the throne room. No flicker of motion caught his eye, no cursed whispering drifted into his ear. The throne room seemed to be just a room.
“Great One?” he said. Only silence came back in return.
His dread at the earlier silence felt like nothing compared to what he felt now. He could only think of one reason why the Dark Lord had yet to kill him, and it was unthinkable.
Meridian got to his feet and crouched low, not wanting to see what laid behind the throne dais but knowing he had to anyways. He inched forward and arched his neck, peeking over the edge.
Two armored legs hung over the toppled throne. Meridian noted how incredibly still the Dark Lord managed to hold them, not a twitch or any swaying whatsoever.
“Sire,” Meridian tried again. The legs remained quite immobile.
Meridian’s lips pressed into a thin line, and he moved to the side so the throne wouldn’t block his view. The rest of the Dark Lord’s armored form laid sprawled out across the onyx throne, his head tilted away.
Hesitant like a mouse nosing toward a suspiciously convenient piece of cheese, Meridian approached the Dark Lord. He found himself standing next to the armor with no clear idea of what to do next. Shouting seemed both ineffective and inappropriate given the distance, but touching the Dark Lord?
Meridian took a series of breaths and closed his eyes, then darted a hand forward to nudge one of the gauntlets. He braced himself for the inevitable rage, then cracked an eye open when it failed to materialize. The Dark Lord remained distressingly stationary.
Seeing no other options, Meridian shuffled his feet and worked around the Dark Lord to look at his face. There, between two eyes still open with shock, he saw a neat hole burned through the forehead with a trail of gray fluid oozing toward the floor. As he watched, a glob of it broke free and fell to the floor with a gentle plopping noise.
The Dark Lord Maleficus, Dreadlord of the Wastes, Slayer of Hope, and Shepherd of the End Times was dead.
Meridian Ledgerborn, administrative aide to the Dark Lord and semi-banished ochre elf of no renown, had accidentally killed him.
Posted on July 22, 2025
Seven Layers Deep: Understanding Your Life Through Bean Dip

You’re trapped at a mind-numbing party, and it’s as exciting as listening to your spouse retell the same story for the 389th time. The guests bore you more than reading your friend’s fanfic, the 2010s-era playlist grates like zesting a lemon onto an open wound, and there are odd noises coming from behind the bathroom door that’s been locked since you arrived.
Then, you see it. Across the room, next to a strategically placed bag of chips, salvation. Seven. Layer. Bean. Dip. Hope is kindled.
You make your way over, ready to immerse yourself in its depths of flavor and mouth feel. But then you notice something. Why are there scrapings off the top? It’s as though someone took a chip and only got onions on it, maybe a drop of salsa juice.
You watch in horror as one of the stock fish posing as guests does just that. A chip dabs at the surface of the dip like an astronaut bouncing off the atmosphere on reentry. The offender walks away, ignorant of the missed flavors waiting just below the surface.
That flavorless philistine is you, dear reader, and the party is your life. You have been scraping the surface of true depth, but I am here to show you the way. To truly live, you must plunge deep into the layers of life’s bean dip, coming out the other side a more complete person.
What separates a tasteless life from one swimming in flavor is the dip of the mind—thinking. Far too often, we splash in the shallow puddles of instinct—the chopped onions and sliced olives, as it were. We leave behind the meat and beans only earned through the hard, pure sweat of the mind. Surface scrapers get surface lives.
Going just one or two layers deep with our thoughts is a recipe for disaster. Instead, one should approach important topics just like one would a delicious bean dip—seven layers deep.
I wrote recently on the critical thinking crisis, but this Wandering will go—dare I say it—a little deeper. Up front, this is not therapy or academic naval gazing. This is a simple technique you use to understand your own thoughts, or complete lack thereof. It takes you from a reactive life to an intentional one. A few minutes of thought, some existential angst; now you’re off to the races.
Come, friend. Plunge into the depths with me and taste the flavors of life you have yet to realize you’ve missed.
Putting the Critical in Thinking
There’s an old joke about how 50% of Americans are dumber than the most average person you know (that’s right, statistics jokes!). We can leverage that point further. How many deep thinkers do you know? I’m going to guess not many.
So if we did that same 50% judgement, where do you think the average American lies on the shallow to deep thinker scale? Something tells me it’s not a nice, even bell curve. One step further: if the majority of folks are on the shallow side, statistically, where do you think you are?
This isn’t entirely your fault. We live in unprecedented times, where you are expected to always be connected, always be moving, always be hustling. We dance on the strings of algorithms run on supercomputers, and our 1.0 version brains still identify the sugar in Twinkies as a survival boon. Is it any wonder most of us live in a shallowness of thinkers?
That said, we make a lot of decisions that have major impacts. It’s worth knowing that the information and beliefs feeding those decisions are well-informed and not slopped from some algorithmic feeding trough.
Questions like what career to undertake, qualities that matter in a partner, political beliefs, life goals—these deserve your time. But if your response as to why you believe what you do on any weighty topic is “That’s what I’ve always thought,” then you’re doing yourself a disservice.
Don’t just take my word for it. The psychology field is littered with papers talking about how people with deeper self-reflection make better decisions or how shallow thinking leads to superficial life outcomes. Harvard Business Review even wrote a whole piece on how reflection is what separates great professionals from the mediocre masses.
If we don’t ask ourselves why we think the things we think, we sacrifice our agency to external forces. Maybe it’s your parents, or your instagram feed, or that one coworker that never shuts up about turmeric. Whatever the source, if it’s not you, that comes at a cost. And my friend, that cost is rarely one we enjoy paying.
The Seven Layer Technique
Here’s what we’re going to do. I will go spelunking with you through all seven layers of the bean dip. We’ll blow past the surface levels most people pretend to be satisfied with. Then we’ll move into the layers where you start uncovering inherited beliefs versus personal convictions. After that, there’s the zone where you discover uncomfortable truths and core values. And finally, we reach the bottom of the bean dip—your authentic foundation.
Are you ready? You look ready. Here’s the technique, in all its complexity and glory:
Ask yourself “why” seven times
That’s it. This is dipthinking at its finest. Just like losing weight, there’s no need for fancy fads or photoshopped Instagram models—calories out must exceed calories in, period dot. As Bruce Lee said, “the height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.” You’ll walk away from this with a practice tool to use on any important belief or decision, and the confidence that comes with knowing your thoughts are your own.
One warning, before we begin. Just like how a proper bean dip will lay waste to an unprepared digestive system, this process may cause some discomfort. You will likely discover that some beliefs you’ve held close you don’t actually own, and that can lead to some hard questions. But those are questions worth asking to discover who you are, so lean into the struggle.
Now grab your chips and let’s dig in.
How to Dipthink
As we begin this journey into the dip of life’s greatest questions, we must remember to start at the beginning: the question. This is your chip, the conveyance upon which the flavor of the dip is transported to your taste buds.
The most important aspect of your chip is that it has heft. You’re about to load up seven different layers of meaning on it—that requires significant tensile strength. A weak chip will snap under the pressure, just like a weak question will fail to pull as much from the process as a strong question would.
Running the question why you wanted a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch is like expecting a translucent potato chip to hold anything beyond a thin layer of oil without snapping like a twig. Asking why you can’t stop eating those potato chips even though they go against what you think are your weight loss goals, however… now we’ve got a solid tortilla chip ready for serious spelunking.
Let’s pick a chip we all might relate to as an example: why do I want this job? Onto the first stop on our journey, the surface scrape.
Layers 1 and 2: The Surface Scrape
As our question chip submersible begins its voyage, we start at the first layer: the onions of instinct. Like when you cut into an onion, this is what slaps you in the face and turns you away. It’s instinctive, with little thought behind it if there’s any at all.
In our example, let’s say the instinctive answer as to why you want this job is because it pays well. Simple, clean, and shallow. It fakes doing the job of real thought well enough that many people would stop there. Woe unto such misled souls. Deeper we go.
We pass the onions and find ourselves in the olives of false security. For most, this second layer is what passes for deep thinking. They have taken things one step farther, and thinking they now have the giant shoulders others might stand on, pat themselves on the back and call it good. Again, woe.
Continuing our example, this second layer of why might return the answer “because I need financial security.” Answers like this give false security by appearing deep without having any actual depth. Yes, financial security is important, but literally everyone needs that. It’s why we need that individually where things get interesting.
These first two layers consist of the shallowest thinking. They’re hard to dig through because a) thinking is hard, and b) shallow thinking reinforces itself in the mind (if you have an hour, this video does a great job explaining it). It costs less energy for us to react instinctively, so the brain prefers to save those calories for running from lions and avoiding awkward social encounters.
But you are ready to feel the burn. Buckle up as we dive deeper into our dip, to the layers of inheritance.
Layers 3 and 4: The Inherited Zone
The third layer is the first with some heft to it: the cheese of inheritance. Much like how certain dairy products can produce blockages, this layer can be hard to push through. It’s the first indication that your thoughts aren’t yours as much as you once thought.
As you question your own desire for financial security, “I need financial security” morphs into “Because I feel like I need a certain level of wealth to be happy.” Suddenly, we’re in territory that challenges you.
But enlightenment waits for no one, so deeper we go. We pass the cheese and move into the salsa of recognition. Like cartographers scrawled on the corners of maps when they got poetic, here be monsters. This layer often opens us up to reflections like a fun house mirror, only when we do a double take, we realize we actually look like that.
Your fourth iteration of asking why on a potential career choice now takes a turn. Suddenly, you realize that your linkage of happiness to a certain level of wealth stems from how much your parents stressed about finances in your childhood and your desire to avoid that. This could spur a whole separate string of questions, but we’ll leave that aside for now.
The inherited zone questions help us reach the first real drivers in our lives. We dove under the surface and started identifying root causes—in this case, a desire to not end up like our parents financially. This is akin to Toyota’s lesser Five Why’s technique, one designed to help identify root causes in corporate processes.
But we aren’t building cars here, we’re building lives. Why stop now when the juiciest layers still lie before us? If you thought the inherited zone was uncomfortable, just wait for this one. Onward, intrepid explorer of the internal psyche!
Layers 5 and 6: The Discomfort Zone
Ahh, layer five: the sour cream of conflicting values. That slightly acidic taste that somehow compliments all the others. This layer takes the revelations of the external forces from the last two and plunges into our internal values.
Now you realize that it’s not a simple ‘wealth equals happiness’ equation. No, the understanding about your parents twists that previous answer on itself. It’s not happiness, it’s self-worth—something deeper. You now recognize that you have tied the number in your bank account to your worth as a human being. Ouch.
Sometimes the only way out is through. As the sour cream fades behind us, we cross the border into the meat layer. Packed with protein, suffused with grease, this layer has real flavor for those brave enough to probe its depths.
For you see, asking why a sixth time in our example makes you realize something. You don’t want to be that person that layer five showed you. It conflicts with who you think you are as a person, or at least who you’d like to be. You’re on the cusp of internal revelation that might lead to external revolution.
The research on this is clear: deep reflection leads to more conscious decisions and authentic living. Self-worth and satisfaction come from aligning our actions to our values, which is a hard thing to do if you don’t understand what those values are. The discomfort zone shows us those, for good and for ill.
There is but one layer ahead of us now. The penultimate layer, the bottom of this undredged lake just waiting to be explored. Cry havoc and let slip the refried beans of enlightenment!
Layer Seven: The Foundation
One cannot have seven-layer bean dip without beans. They are its cornerstone, the pillar upon which the dip’s entire flavor palace rests. It is the congealed, gummy glue that brings the whole package together, and you have reached it. Bravo.
You reconsider the job offer. A seventh why interrogates the thought of why this job goes against your values. And then—enlightenment. You recognize that while it may give you wealth and security, it fails to accomplish something more important to you, helping others. You thank the job offerors for their time, politely decline, and resume the search with a clear North Star to follow.
Putting the Layers Together
Hopefully this example shows the power of the technique. Like water pressure, it gains strength the deeper you go. Also like water pressure, if you’re not adequately prepared before plunging into the abyss, you’ll get crushed. That’s why you need both a proper question and the right mindset.
There are a host of questions useful for this process, far more than I could ever list. The career example we went through is likely one of the more common ones, but there are plenty of others.
You could assess what you want out of a romantic relationship, moving from “they’re hot” to “we share core values.” Alternatively, platonic relationships work as well—less “they’re hot” and more “they’re amusing” on that one. Of course, there’s always politics, moving from “my family votes this way” to “wait, that politician voted for what?” Your mileage may vary with that one.
Point is, this technique benefits from having legitimate questions as its target. But hey, if you want to run your latest fan theory about bad television through it, you do you.
As for mindset, you need to go into this beanstorming process with one word at the forefront: humility. Any layer below one or two requires you to recognize that you have something to learn, which is hard to do if you come into it thinking you know all the answers.
You also need humility to recognize that it’s ok to change your mind about things. Despite what every teenager feels, you never truly have all the answers in life. It’s a constant game of back and forth, and if you aren’t light on your feet, you’re liable to get crushed under the steamroller of reality.
Side Effects May Include Indigestion
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Seven layers? Isn’t that overdoing it a touch?” That depends entirely on what’s more important to you—fast decisions, or better decisions.
Toyota is one of the world’s largest car companies with what’s probably the best reputation for dependability. If you don’t believe me, look at what brand is slapped on the side of trucks insurgents used to drive around Afghanistan. Here’s a hint—it wasn’t a Ford or Chevy.
Do you think Toyota uses their Five Why’s process for kicks and giggles? No, my friend. They use it because some steely eyed Japanese businessman with the iron will of a 17th century Shogun has determined it is the most efficient way to ensure their products reach the market in the best possible condition. To do otherwise would bring dishonor on the dojo, and the same holds true for your life.
“That’s all well and good,” you counter, “but I trust my gut.” Friend, I haven’t trusted my gut since the first time I got food poisoning, and neither should you. Research consistently shows that going with your gut tends to result in confirmation bias, unconsciously going with the status quo, a lack of critical thinking, and overconfidence.
Intuition has its place, but it’s generally with snap decisions. Anything that isn’t along the lines of ‘how best to run from this tiger presently chasing me’ would benefit from additional thought.
“Yeah, sure,” you say, growing increasingly irate. “But what if I find out everything I thought I believed aren’t really my thoughts?” That is exactly the point. If you haven’t put in the effort, you’ll never know. Can you live like that? Sure, most people do. But is that the best way to live? I don’t think so.
This also isn’t me saying everything you believe right now is wrong. You can absolutely go through this process, realize you have multiple inherited beliefs, and decide you still believe in them. We can inherit good things, too! The idea is to make sure your beliefs—whatever their source—ultimately come from your decision to believe in them. That leads to authenticity, and authenticity leads to a better life.
Dipthinking to a More Flavorful Life
Return once more to our imaginary party. You watch as person after person approaches the seven-layer bean dip, grab a chip, and scrape along the top without a care. You, however, know that flavor town lies beneath the surface. These others… they don’t know what they’re missing.
Every decision you make in life is a step on a path. Major decisions serve as forks on that path. If you don’t analyze why you think the way you do, you’re letting external forces choose your path for you. You have one life to live—shouldn’t you make sure it’s yours?
This isn’t about perfection—it’s about intention. You can choose right now to live a more authentic life. Pick a question today you care deeply about and set aside a few minutes to dive into it. I promise you’ll find it easier than you think, and more impactful than you’d imagine. The deeper you dig, the higher you rise.
Don’t settle for a surface life as a surface scraper. There’s a world of flavor just under the surface of your mind, and all it takes is having an appetite for it. After all, the authentic life is only seven questions away.
