Yellowstone and Grand Tetons: A Haiku-tiful Experience

My wife and I decided life wasn’t challenging enough, so we decided to do a five-day road trip to Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons with our toddler.  Remarkably, he took mercy on us and behaved like a champ.  While a pleasant surprise, the unrealized emotional tension snapped back into my eye like a misfired rubber band.  Instead of focusing on taming the toddler, I had only one item to direct my attention towards: the endless, all-consuming expanse that is Wyoming.

If you have not driven through Wyoming, don’t—they have airports.  If you insist on doing so anyways, you must prepare yourself.  Otherwise, you will find your mind wandering far afield from its usual haunts.  In will plumb the depths of untrod neural pathways, seeking desperately for some relief from the monotony of endless brown. 

In my head, this settled onto one phrase: the Haiku Review.  Why haikus?  I have no idea.  Why a review?  Because I knew I needed to do a Wandering, and why not talk about two of the most beloved national parks in America.

Without further ado, please enjoy the first iteration of the Haiku Review: Yellowstone and Grand Tetons edition.

Vast plains stretch ahead,

Endless sky, road never ends—

There are no bathrooms.

Who needed the stop,

Toddler or grown man?  Who knows—

Dinos thrill us both.

Cautionary sign.

Child slips, geyser erupts—

Oops, there goes the kid.

Pretty pool bubbles.

Fingers itch, a dangerous game—

Ouch, hot, 9-1-1.

Bison, lone and wild.

Other animals missing—

Must have missed memo.

Old Faithful erupts

Two minutes behind schedule—

Got my money back.

Massive log cabin,

Majestic, peaceful, serene—

Tourists everywhere.

Gorgeous waterfall.

Toddler tried his best to jump—

No swimming for you.

Grandest of Tetons,

Peaks scrape the azure above—

Switzerland got lost.

Milky Way, so bright.

Mosquitos, pesky, buzzing pests—

Stars obscured by bites.

Beaver’s grin calls you,

Pilgrims gather, carts in hand—

Gas station or cult?

Road trip, finally done.

Miles traveled, memories made—

Home sweet home at last