So It Begins

One of the worst parts about military service is that you can be seperated from your family for mission requirements. In this case, my lovely wife has to endure nine long, grueling, humid weeks in Alabama. This is not ideal, as one might imagine. On top of how I miss the love of my life for her joy, her kindness, and her beauty, I have come to depend quite a bit on her for ensuring I don’t backslide into the morass of bachelor aesthetics and grooming. Truly, these are dark days.

Most pressing, however, is the care of our son. If you are not a parent, I can assure you that an 11 month old child is not exactly “free range” capable. In the past week alone, he has decided a new favorite activity is to attempt to run off the stairs at full speed, trusting he will be caught. He also has decided he must eat literally everything–his cravings know no mortal bounds.

I write this not to complain, but to explain how this next part came to be. You see, my wife and I share responsibilities in our home, but there are some that lean in one direction or the other. I do the dishes and mow the lawns, she tolerates my puns and keeps the house in order. One clear area of dilineation: dressing our son. I have the fashion sense of a naked mole rat, and no one appreciates my vision for how to make colors clash just right. My wife, horrified at the first attempts of me dressing our child, firmly took that role away so he would not be traumatized. I trust you begin to see the issue now with her absence.

Luckily, I have found the perfect solution to this conundrum. Just days after she left, a casual conversation gave me an epiphany that hit with the force of thunder thunder lightning, very very frightening. Clothes are awful in general, but there is one type that transcends all others. One that is easy to use, great to see, and all around amazing.

Kilts.

Now my son is rocking his very own kilt, just like his dad before him. And due to my wife being roughly 4,367 miles away at present, there’s nothing she can do to stop this bold step into the future of toddler fashion. Let the good times roll!