Category: Absurdity
Posted on November 19, 2023
I Have Questions
Isn’t it odd how occasionally the answer to a strange question results in stranger questions? You think you’ve answered your bovine conundrum only to find yourself tumbling down the Holstein hole. But I’m getting ahead of myself. My …
Posted on September 24, 2023
Pun Times
There are times when you have nothing to add to an already perfect moment. When you get to sit back and appreciate the spectacle before you, a simple audience member enjoying a work of art. Today, I had …
Updated on September 11, 2023
On the Ingratitude of Birds
As has been remarked upon by literally every parent, having a child changes things. In this case, it resulted in a child’s obsession, a wall of chickens, and my growing resentment towards ungrateful birds. My son loves birds. …
Posted on July 17, 2023
Hawaiian Studs
Hawaii is many things. Island paradise, tourist destination, and one of the most welcoming cultures around? Without a doubt. One thing it is not, however, is a mecca for standardized construction practices. My son—bless his heart—hasn’t met a …
Posted on June 4, 2023
So It Begins
One of the worst parts about military service is that you can be seperated from your family for mission requirements. In this case, my lovely wife has to endure nine long, grueling, humid weeks in Alabama. This is …
Posted on May 8, 2023
If You’re Happy and You Know It…
My wife attended an out-of-state wedding this weekend, and I—being the valiant, noble soul that I am—offered to stay home with our little one so she didn’t have to worry about the logistics of bringing an infant cross-country. …
Posted on April 24, 2023
It’s All Connected: Scams, Conspiracies, and Belief
In an interview shortly after publishing The Da Vinci Code, author Dan Brown stated unequivocally that the various secret holy orders contained within were real, that the French monarchy blood line claimed to have been wiped out in …
Updated on February 19, 2023
The Bottle Gymnastics
Just when I think we’ve hit our parenting stride, Ezran winks and says “hold my milk.” His latest passion? Winning gold at bottle gymnastics. I sent my wife off on a romantic sunset boat tour yesterday afternoon—romantic both …
Posted on February 12, 2023
Rock On, Little One
Parenthood is full of joy, wonder, and horrifying surprises. Often, those three facets get tied together in a neat little package that leaks something obscene out of a corner you thought you had strapped down. Yesterday, my son …
Posted on September 11, 2022
A Short Repaste
I struggle with long sentences. Speaking them, writing them, thinking them. Trying to limit my verbosity ends poorly. So here is my nth attempt to do so. Each sentence here will be chopped in half. I warn you …
