Category: Story Time
Posted on December 8, 2024
Twinkle Trials: My Journey to Holiday Illumination
“When are you going to put up the Christmas lights?” my wife asked. I looked at her much like how a cow looks at an oncoming train. In the eight years of our marriage, I had yet to …
Posted on November 10, 2024
The Caca Campaign: A Potty Training War Journal
Potty training. Two words that stoke the fear of parents more than any others. And yet, it is inevitable. Thus were the thoughts of my wife and I as we entered this most trying of times. Where others …
Posted on September 29, 2024
Through Fire and Fluff: How I Survived a Kitchen Calamity
The flash point for your average marshmallow is 200 degrees Fahrenheit. I know this because my wife attempted to burn down our house with marshmallows a few days ago. I was in our office when the cry for …
Posted on August 26, 2024
War is Gardening by Other Means: My Battle with the Weeds
I have never had much of a green thumb, but Colorado has done its best to remedy that. Unfortunately, its tool of choice has been weeds. It also decided to get a head start, with the weeds in …
Posted on August 11, 2024
A Man, A Wasp Nest, and a Lesson in Critical Thinking
I have a swollen lump on my thigh about the size of a tennis ball. It’s red. It itches. All in all, an unpleasant experience—zero stars, would not recommend. Why, you ask, do I have a red, itching …
Posted on July 14, 2024
My Son Is Not A Terrorist
Terrorism is defined as the use of violence or the threat of violence in the pursuit of political goals. This comes shockingly close to the experience of living with a toddler. Toddlers embrace violence, be it hitting, kicking, …
Updated on June 30, 2024
House Hunting: Amusing, Odd, and Criminally Inclined Homes
If it wasn’t for the fact that it’s a whirlwind of stress as you grind through a slow, agonizing death march of compromising on what you thought you held most dear, house hunting would be a fantastic activity. …
Posted on April 23, 2024
Get Off My Lawn
Watching a toddler grow fascinates me. Every day seems like it brings new developments, especially with physical skills. Our son has two new favorites: the headbanger, and the butt-first stair slide. Admittedly, these skills aren’t anywhere on the …
Posted on November 19, 2023
I Have Questions
Isn’t it odd how occasionally the answer to a strange question results in stranger questions? You think you’ve answered your bovine conundrum only to find yourself tumbling down the Holstein hole. But I’m getting ahead of myself. My …
Posted on November 5, 2023
The Reserves: Inprocessing (Part 1)
This is the beginning chapter of my online episodic novel, The Reserves. For the complete collection, please click here. Enjoy! Clay looked at himself in the mirror and practiced smiling again. He sighed as it turned into a …
