Category: Suburban Dad
Posted on October 15, 2025
After Action Report: The Long Night
The first rumble comes at midnight, that witching hour when nothing good ever happens. My stomach clenches like a fist, and I know what’s coming. I’ve been here before. Decades of motion sickness have made me intimately familiar …
Posted on October 9, 2025
Llamageddon: Why Toddler Bonding Trips Always Go Wrong
My son and I whipped down the Utah freeway at exactly five over the limit, and I knew that I was about to take the crown as the favorite parent. Since birth, he has made it clear he …
Posted on June 25, 2025
Turf War: Defeat and Resurrection in Suburban Lawn Combat
It’s late winter. I stare out my glass door to the backyard, looking at the grass as it starts to stir from its winter hibernation. Signs of life pop everywhere. Everywhere save one spot—the Patch. My nemesis, my …
