Tag: Story Time
Posted on December 8, 2024
Twinkle Trials: My Journey to Holiday Illumination
“When are you going to put up the Christmas lights?” my wife asked. I looked at her much like how a cow looks at an oncoming train. In the eight years of our marriage, I had yet to …
Posted on November 10, 2024
The Caca Campaign: A Potty Training War Journal
Potty training. Two words that stoke the fear of parents more than any others. And yet, it is inevitable. Thus were the thoughts of my wife and I as we entered this most trying of times. Where others …
Posted on September 29, 2024
Through Fire and Fluff: How I Survived a Kitchen Calamity
The flash point for your average marshmallow is 200 degrees Fahrenheit. I know this because my wife attempted to burn down our house with marshmallows a few days ago. I was in our office when the cry for …
Posted on August 26, 2024
War is Gardening by Other Means: My Battle with the Weeds
I have never had much of a green thumb, but Colorado has done its best to remedy that. Unfortunately, its tool of choice has been weeds. It also decided to get a head start, with the weeds in …
Posted on August 11, 2024
A Man, A Wasp Nest, and a Lesson in Critical Thinking
I have a swollen lump on my thigh about the size of a tennis ball. It’s red. It itches. All in all, an unpleasant experience—zero stars, would not recommend. Why, you ask, do I have a red, itching …
Posted on July 14, 2024
My Son Is Not A Terrorist
Terrorism is defined as the use of violence or the threat of violence in the pursuit of political goals. This comes shockingly close to the experience of living with a toddler. Toddlers embrace violence, be it hitting, kicking, …
Updated on June 30, 2024
House Hunting: Amusing, Odd, and Criminally Inclined Homes
If it wasn’t for the fact that it’s a whirlwind of stress as you grind through a slow, agonizing death march of compromising on what you thought you held most dear, house hunting would be a fantastic activity. …
Updated on October 27, 2023
Introducing The Reserves
Salutations, well met, and alternative third greeting! I’m excited to announce that soon these Wanderings will occasionally be graced by an episodic fictional story told by yours truly. While I’ll still be working my novels offline, I’ve always …
Posted on September 24, 2023
Pun Times
There are times when you have nothing to add to an already perfect moment. When you get to sit back and appreciate the spectacle before you, a simple audience member enjoying a work of art. Today, I had …
Updated on February 19, 2023
The Bottle Gymnastics
Just when I think we’ve hit our parenting stride, Ezran winks and says “hold my milk.” His latest passion? Winning gold at bottle gymnastics. I sent my wife off on a romantic sunset boat tour yesterday afternoon—romantic both …
