Tag: Story Time
Posted on December 24, 2025
Small Tests, Big Rot
I stared at the slow cooker, vexed. The mishmash of seasonings, broth, and chicken bubbled away, ignorant of the tragedy it unwittingly participated in. I looked at the clock and frowned, hoping daylight savings had struck early this …
Posted on October 15, 2025
After Action Report: The Long Night
The first rumble comes at midnight, that witching hour when nothing good ever happens. My stomach clenches like a fist, and I know what’s coming. I’ve been here before. Decades of motion sickness have made me intimately familiar …
Posted on October 9, 2025
Llamageddon: Why Toddler Bonding Trips Always Go Wrong
My son and I whipped down the Utah freeway at exactly five over the limit, and I knew that I was about to take the crown as the favorite parent. Since birth, he has made it clear he …
Posted on June 25, 2025
Turf War: Defeat and Resurrection in Suburban Lawn Combat
It’s late winter. I stare out my glass door to the backyard, looking at the grass as it starts to stir from its winter hibernation. Signs of life pop everywhere. Everywhere save one spot—the Patch. My nemesis, my …
Updated on June 12, 2025
Mud, Blood, and Life Lessons: My First Mountain Biking Crash
“This is not ideal,” I thought as I catapulted over my bike’s handlebars into the creek below. Time crawled as I plummeted off the small bridge, the three-foot drop now looking like a stunt jump from a Tom …
Updated on May 3, 2025
When Toddlers Rule the Zoo: A Lesson in Parenting Priorities
Toddlers love two things above all: chaos and the zoo. My son and I had a Dude’s Day at the zoo last week, and it proved to be a lesson in understanding priorities. Specifically, my priorities no longer …
Posted on December 8, 2024
Twinkle Trials: My Journey to Holiday Illumination
“When are you going to put up the Christmas lights?” my wife asked. I looked at her much like how a cow looks at an oncoming train. In the eight years of our marriage, I had yet to …
Posted on November 10, 2024
The Caca Campaign: A Potty Training War Journal
Potty training. Two words that stoke the fear of parents more than any others. And yet, it is inevitable. Thus were the thoughts of my wife and I as we entered this most trying of times. Where others …
Posted on September 29, 2024
Through Fire and Fluff: How I Survived a Kitchen Calamity
The flash point for your average marshmallow is 200 degrees Fahrenheit. I know this because my wife attempted to burn down our house with marshmallows a few days ago. I was in our office when the cry for …
Posted on August 26, 2024
War is Gardening by Other Means: My Battle with the Weeds
I have never had much of a green thumb, but Colorado has done its best to remedy that. Unfortunately, its tool of choice has been weeds. It also decided to get a head start, with the weeds in …
